I went with my parents to the viewing yesterday. I sort of wish I hadn't gone. It didn't even look like my grandma at all. I think I would have been more satisfied with having the last time I saw her be the last time I saw her alive. I guess I just was expecting something different. My aunt had put a journal and pen in her coffin with her, and my mom and I started to read what my aunt had written in the front page. After a few sentences I began to cry, so I didn't finish reading it. I just couldn't.
On a happier note, I got a surprise phone message from Jake yesterday. It was really sweet. He was just calling to say that he missed me and that he was listening to The Cure on the way in to work and was thinking of me. It gave me warm fuzzies. We don't really get to see Jake all that much anymore because he is a slave to the kitchen at the Aalto Lounge....but I am SO looking forward to tour so that we can kick it with him for a few days. I really miss him too...
Gah! Tour in a month!! I'm getting all riled up about it. Tour is like the ultimate in just gernal life happiness. On a day to day basis, I find myself doing things that the world forces me into that aren't really me. Things that don't make me happy. But when I'm on tour, I am me the whole time. I'm doing things that feel natural and feel right. I'm getting paid to be me and to do the thing that I really love with people I love. That's what life should be all about.
For now this is Candy saying I miss solitude again...even though I've never had it...but I dream of what it will be like.
Current Mood: Sentimental
Current Soundtrack: Interpol
0 comments so far