Bitch and moan. That's what I want to do. Beacause I swear all I did yesterday was use my brain non-stop. All I did in my spare time* was homework. Then I went to bed at 12:30 only to get up at 4:30 to work on it some more. And I'm still not done. Fuckin' shit.
*Spare time: From the time I got home from school 'til band practice and then once I got home from band practice until I went to bed....minus twenty minutes for a phone call and a quick thirty minute nap during the afternoon.
Well, I've got some coffee here and soon it will be flowing through me so I can at least function somewhat until I get to go home at 4:00 this afternoon and crash 'til 6:45 when I have to go to my mom's house to await Nat's arrival back from Mark.
Speaking of the ex...I was thinking this morning on my way to my mom's house how I think I have pinpointed the exact moment I should have broken up with him...the night he proposed to me. It was late July and we were up at TOM Fest at the Stevenson fairgrounds and I had been getting more and more irriated over the previous few weeks at his incessant "joking" of wanting to fuck other girls he would see around. We ended up getting in a fight and I seriously remember thinking I've fucking had it with this shit. Maybe it's time to call it quits. That night we were standing on the rocky bank of the lake right by our campsite arguing and as it was about to get heated, he stopped and got this look on his face that I will never be able to explain and he said, "Do you love me?" And I said, "yes" and looked away. And then he took my hands and the moonlight illuminated his face as I turned my gaze from the water and looked into his eyes and he said, "Will you marry me?" I was shocked, but I said yes. It was at that moment I should have just gone through with what I had planned before and said, "Fuck no, asshole!" and kicked him in the crotch. But what are you gonna do? Just learn from it is all. Shit...it's still hard to believe this all happened when I was just 17.
An interesting postscript to that story is that I ended up finding out later that all the joking was all stemming from the fact that he actually did cheat on me just weeks prior on that 4th of July. Mother fucker.
But at any rate...I just hope to God I raise Nattie right. That I raise her to be smart and awesome and I don't do all the things that my parents did that turned my sister and me into fucking statistics.
Well, that was long-winded. The only other thing I was thinking about this morning was how funny it was that three premenstrual Jolenes ended up talking about childbirth last night at band biznasty. LOL! I can see it on E! now...The Jolenes...three chicks who talk about chick stuff like fluffy kittens, cute boys, and childbirth at band practice.
For now this is Candy saying four weeks and Art115 is dead...counting down the fucking days.
Current Mood: Tired
Current Soundtrack: AIC - JOF
Current Skirt: Pinstripe pants, big black goth boots, black coconut monkey bank shirt with the purple shopping cart on it
P.S. I have been LOVING the sunshine this week. It has been so beautiful outside. Spring is on the way...sweet delicious goodness.
One last thing....I saw that we have Krispy Kremes here at work this morning. It reminded me of tour. *sigh* I miss tour. I miss traveling with three people that I love. I miss 2am trips to Taco Bell and Krispy Kreme. I miss Jake. I miss practically living in Vanpon.
That reminds me...our distributor has sold 100 of our CDs across the nation thus far! Hot diggity damn! Tour is not only fun...it is oviously serving its purpose...
AND THEN SOMETIMES...
...I get an email with a line in it like this...
to quote a hot ass bitch, "it owned"
...and it makes me laugh and smile and blush because they are referring to me....
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